Philia and Storge

Let’s now look at the various categories of love. I am not going to look at Agape because I believe 10 days of talking about it has left us all itching to move on to something else.

So let’s look at the other kinds of love;  Philia and Storge.

Philia comes from the Greek word Phiia which refers to familiar or friendship.  It is used to describe the kind of love that is mainly expressed between friends and neighbours. Where there is fondness and like.  In 1 Sam 19:1, the bible says that Jonathan was fond of David and protected David from his father’s plan to kill him.

Fondness is a feeling of affection or caring towards someone that has no sexual connotations whatsoever to it.   When the bible told us to love our neighbours as ourselves, it was talking about philia.  It was asking us to have affection for each other and not to mistreat each other.  When you have affection for someone, you don’t gossip about them or scorn them or maltreat them. Instead you delight in their company.

Neighbour is not limited to the person whose geographical address is next to your door, but to that friend or brother and sister you are familiar with.

God expects us to love ourselves and our neighbours.  Jesus said if you can’t love your neighbour that you see, how then can you love a God you cannot see?  Why he said that is simple, if God is love and He lives in us, then it means that love lives in us and thus God expects us to express it to our neighbours and family.

Storge refers to love that is shared between children and parents.  Paul in Ephesians 6:1-4 advices parents and children, he tells children to honour and obey their parents. A Child's place is to honour their parents by obeying them  and that will be their act of love to their parents. Parents are advised to not provoke their children just because they are parents and they can.

The parents are supposed to nurture and bring up children in the love of God.  What that means is that parents are supposed to bring up their children by providing a protective environment where their children can grow well balanced and confident.  Parents are not supposed to insult, physically and verbally abuse their children.  Love as taught in 1 cor 13 is reiterated by Paul again in this verse when he put it simply ‘don’t exasperate your children instead bring them up in the training and instructions of the Lord’.  Children will rebel when they have no confidence and trust in their parents.  When they feel their best interest is not the priority of their parents.  But remember, what love is in 1 cor 13?  It nurtures, it is patient and it brings out the best in others.

The love of parents towards their children may differ from that of friends or lovers. Their relationship is supposed to be that of leadership, nurturing, protection, guidance and responsibility. I believe a best example of that can be found in the potter’s house.

When a potter is moulding an object with clay, the potter takes his time with it.  He can’t apply force or the clay will fold and the shape won’t come out. He lovingly and carefully removes all stones and objects and makes sure that there is no air trapped in the clay when he is moulding his masterpiece. It takes time; patience and lots of love from a potter to come out with a priceless piece of pottery.  That is what a parent's love is supposed to be.

In this month of love, let us go that extra mile for our friends, parents and children, because love will go that extra mile.







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